Do you ever feel that you never get to BE the real person that is inside of you? You know you are never completely Authentic with yourself or others?
Do you feel that your life is more of a projection on a screen rather than being in your skin and having joys and sorrows as deep and fulfilling as “other” people?
Do you always meld into the person you are with or the group you are in, rather than having and maintaining your own unique values, boundaries and personality?
Do you have a hard time seeing yourself as an adult, even though you are!
Then you may have issues around discovering or uncovering your authentic self. It can be frustrating and even be an intimidating feeling that you don’t know yourself or can’t let others See you!
Why is that important to be authentic, you may ask? Actually, if you experience the symptoms listed above and you don’t have a problem with being that way, then that is alright. For many people the “projection life” works out fine for a time. It is the person who is distressed by the disconnect between what they feel inside and what they present to others that I want to help. Some people feel a lot of sadness and know instinctively they are missing something important.
Sometimes what they miss are friendships that last. Everyone likes the fun guy or gal, but we generally don’t develop long term relationships with people who are always behind the curtain, so to speak. Like the Wizard of Oz, we need to feel that we know our friends. “Who are you?” is what friends finally realize they feel. And probably what you feel also. We are all Unique. So, it will not be the image I feel you should have, or the feelings I feel you should have. Working with people on this topic means that I generally ask a lot of questions and help you reflect on what you are saying, feeling and thinking. After all, it is you has to define you and feel safe in who you are.
We will talk about family values and the likelihood that connection within your family was not authentic. We can talk about developmental stages which include questions about trust, if you were given autonomy at the best time and within a range of age appropriate activities, and if you can answer questions about who you are by yourself and with others.
If you struggle with Authenticity, then I hope to see you soon so that you can begin to experience what it means to be real.