Grief, Loss and Complex Loss
The counseling services I provide are for people who, no matter how hard they try, have tapes of negative thoughts about their: self worth, competence, right to be heard, intelligence, lovableness, or loveliness, and anger or fear about someone or something. Many people have childhood events that cause significant pain when remembered. Childhood events (traumas) that are not emotionally resolved can sap our physical strength and energy to stay in the present and deal appropriately with our current life. These events are often not clearly remembered but cause our mental energy and efficiency to be reduced.
Finding Your Voice and Establishing Healthy Boundaries
I especially like providing counseling services to women who may have had a lot of successes in life, but still feel “not good enough.” Their self-worth is low or even non-existent. I counsel mom’s who have been there for others, and now struggle with reorienting to being there for themselves as their children are now independent. Women may need and want help identifying how to make a successful change in their major life role of 20 or more years. I help these women conquer their sense of hopelessness and powerlessness over the stuck places they find themselves in. I help them: find their voice, establish healthy boundaries, gain control of any PTSD symptoms, and envision a future where they are in control.
Techniques I Use, Depend on Your Needs and Comfort
Therapeutic techniques I use largely depend on two factors. The first, and most important, is determining what are the goals of the person seeking therapy. We all have different goals in our lives. What is important to one person may not as important to another person. One person may have a goal of wanting the immediate emotional discomfort reduced. Another person may want help looking deeper into why they get stuck in certain decision or behavioral cycles.
Sometimes a person may want to work through a current life question regarding a health crisis, relationships loss, depression, self-worth or aging issues where I can help them build their resource pool. There are many tools I provide people who struggle to find themselves after a loss in relationship choices or a career. Everyone is different and everyone experiences their struggles in a different way.
First Priority is Building Your Strengths or Assets
Another determinant has to do with assessing the strengths of a person. Some people have excellent emotional control. However, they don’t have a lot of emotional insight into their own feelings or that of others in relationship with them. Some people do not have much body awareness that is essential for good personal and interpersonal awareness. Many people have excellent cognitive ability but not when it comes to integrating interactions and emotional behaviors of other people. Often this is a self-worth issue. Either way, it is what the individual’s goals are as well as their strengths that will determine what therapy I’ll use and how intensely we can work on their “stuck” place.
The people I see typically have the following struggles:
- Losses and Grief as well as Bereavement and Complex Grief
- Domestic Violence and Adverse Childhood Experiences
- Spiritual Abuse either from the pulpit or a partner
- Co-Dependency, Trust issues, Identity and Self-Worth issues
- Family Estrangements including Parental Alienation
- Repetitive behaviors or thoughts, depression, and anxiety
- Parenting and especially Single Parenting Struggles
The Services I provide are:
- Narrative Therapy is a process by where we make sense of your story
- EMDR which includes Resource Development
- Attachment theories and Strength Based or Mindfulness Techniques
- Christian Counseling or Spiritual Counseling/Direction
- Systems therapies including Family Therapy and Interpersonal Therapy
- Brief Person Centered Therapy, Post Modern and Solution Focused
Complete the form on the right and see me for a free half hour consultation to see whether I can help you with your particular struggle in life.
Thank you for visiting my Services Page.